Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
