where am i from again
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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