Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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