She announced her abortion via fbk
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
