marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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