i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
