Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
