I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
