I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So here I am, sexting at work.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
