Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
