great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
