you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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