Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
