everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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