You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
