just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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