1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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