WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
