These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
