i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
