BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
