He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
