it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
