we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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