Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
