he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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