you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Less talking, more tequila
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
