I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
