Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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