he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
