Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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