Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
