They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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