sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
