can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
