are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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