He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize