Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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