I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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