don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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