hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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