I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
