the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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