Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
