someone threw a dead crab at me
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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