They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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