Fuck appropriateness.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
