He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
