were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
