she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
