i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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