She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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