she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
