is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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