Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
