dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
