If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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