He kissed a someone with a penis
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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